End Game
by Lord Archive
Summary: The wedding ceremony had failed, and the game of love went into overtime. A game Akane does not want to lose regardless of the risk. (Chapter one revised 11-24-2012.)
1. Secret Plays

**End Game**

**Chapter One: Secret Plays**

_By: Lord Archive_

Ranma 1/2 belongs to Rumiko Takahashi and is used without consent nor intent of profit. All rights reserved.

This is set in the manga time line. Anime only events and fanon interpretations do not apply. Heavily revised November 24, 2012 to better reflect that intent.

* * *

Akane made sure her door was locked before she went to the window and pulled the shade closed. She did not begin to undress to get ready for bed, instead she moved to her desk. Opening the bottom drawer, she started to pull out various papers and folders. An English test from Miss Hinako with the only mark on it being a perfect score, her last report card from junior high placing her seventh at the school, a third place award for junior martial arts championship she fought in almost three years earlier, and an honorable mention award for a science project she presented in her first year of junior high all made their way to top of her desk. None of these items held her interest. She tenderly lifted an essay held within a projective folder that she wrote in sixth grade about the person she idolized most, her mother. Carefully she flipped past the first two pages to gaze at an a piece of paper she had hidden there only a couple weeks ago.

That paper was her marriage certificate declaring that she was now Saotome Akane and married to Ranma.

"If only you really meant anything," Akane muttered to herself. Shortly after returning from China her father tricked Ranma into signing the marriage application. The idiot didn't bother to read what he was putting his name to. When that was tried on her, saying it was to deal with her impromptu trip to China and missed school, she had read the form. She had not been happy when her own father tried to trick her in getting married. Then he had the nerve to bribe her with Ranma's cure. She wished Genma had been the one to do that, so she could have let out her anger on him.

Akane then did something that surprised herself as much as it would anyone else: she signed the application. Not because her father wanted her too, but because she had convince herself that Ranma loved her. She heard him scream it at Jusendo. She knew he had.

Even though the wedding ceremony had literally been bombed, she was still legally Saotome Akane. The only issue was that only a couple people realized this, and Ranma wasn't one of them. Still, she was the legal winner, and that would have to do for now. She carefully put the proof of marriage back in it's hiding place and got ready for bed, wondering when when that certificate would stop being just a piece of paper.

* * *

Akane stood across from Ranma in the dojo as he carefully read over a Chinese scroll.

"Are we going to spar or not?" Akane wondered. "You're the one wanted to fight."

"Just want to make sure I got this right. Don't want to do anything weird to you, like make you insult people uncontrollably." He then smirked. "Not that I'd be able to tell."

Akane cocked her head and noted a diagram on the scroll. "You're trying to learn pressure points?"

Ranma nodded. "Want to see how they work in combat. If I can render one of Ryouga's or Pantyhose's arms or legs useless, it'll be easier to kick their ass."

"So, I'm your live test dummy?" Akane commented dryly.

"If the shoe fits," Ranma joked as he set the scroll to the side of the room. "Ready?"

"I've been ready." Akane shot forward with a palm strike that failed to connect. Her attack was rewarded by being tapped twice on the upper arm. She pulled away and was thankful to note that his counter attack failed to produce any result. While her fifth punch caused Ranma to block with his left arm, his response of tapping her shoulder with his right hand pointer and middle fingers made her arm go limp.

"Finally," Ranma smiled at his small victory.

Akane tried to will her arm to move, but it would not respond. "You can undo this, right?"

Ranma nodded. "Hold still a second." A couple taps on her arm and at her armpit and feeling quickly returned.

Akane reflexively tested her arm. "I certainly see where this has potential."

As the match progressed, both grew more frustrated.

Akane's increasingly wild swings met air far more often than they connected. Even then her blows were never anything significant.

Ranma was able to paralyze Akane's arms a few times early in the fight, but her increasing erratic movements were helping her avoid his attacks. Especially as she started to switch from punches to kicks. Legs were also a target for him. After she overextended with an ax kick, he tapped her leg four times and his opponent fell.

"Damn it!" Akane cursed herself.

Ranma took a step forward but then rushed to grab the scroll.

"Forgot how to do this?" Akane questioned.

Ranma sweated nervously. "Not exactly."

Akane scowled. "It better tell how to undo this."

"It does." Ranma forced a sheepish smile. "Ah, it's similar to fixing the arm."

"So?" Akane demanded.

"You're going to hit me for where I have to touch," Ranma pointed out.

"I will pound you into paste if you don't fix my leg now!" Akane order.

Ranma carefully stepped forward. His hands blurred as he tapped her leg and then quickly ran away.

Akane squeaked from the last pressure point he hit, high on her inner thigh. She quickly looked around to make sure no one had seen him touch her there. She then carefully tested her leg before leaving the dojo, with no intention of hitting Ranma. After all, such touching was only an issue in public. If no one saw it, there wasn't a problem.

* * *

"I'm going on a date Saturday," Kasumi announced at dinner.

"Really? With who?" Soun inquired.

"Mitsutani-san," Kasumi answered. "He works down at the market at his parents' store."

Soun paused. "Ah, Mitsutani-kun's boy? Not a bad family."

Genma laughed. "Hope the boy can hold his sake better than his old man."

"Very true," Soun chuckled.

Akane held her chop sticks to her lips. "I suppose that means I'll be cooking dinner that night."

Soun shifted nervously. "Certainly Nodoka could take care of that."

"Auntie Saotome will still be baby-sitting for her friend," Akane reminded. "She won't be back until Monday."

"Well, what a shame, I've already got plans for Saturday," Nabiki deadpanned. "I won't be home that night."

"Ah, right, we've got plans that night as well, don't we, Soun?" Genma chirped in.

"Right! I almost forgot about it," Soun agreed quickly.

Akane sagged.

"Meh, cowards," Ranma grumbled. "I've got no plans."

Akane looked at him uncertain what to say. She had to wonder why it looked like he had some sort of plan. She silently vowed to make sure to make him a dinner he'd never forget.

* * *

"I told you I was going to cook!" Akane snarled.

"You are." Ranma motioned at the stuff on the counter. "Just getting you set up. Everything you need should be here."

Akane pouted. "You didn't have to do that."

"Just wanted to make sure you didn't mix things up," Ranma defended.

Akane scowled. She moved to washed her hands and began to cook. "Are you going to sit there and watch me?"

"Yep," Ranma replied simply.

"You don't have to." Akane noticed he wasn't moving. "You're making me more nervous."

"Wanna be here to catch you if you make a mistake." Ranma shrugged. "I don't know how you can do so well in chemistry lab and yet lose control here. It's the same thing. Everything has a proper quantity to add."

Akane growled. As she reached for some spices, she found her hand grabbed. "Not yet with that. You'd dull the taste. Calm down and relax."

"How can I with you breathing down my neck?" Akane hissed.

"Get used to it," Ranma shot back.

Akane shuddered, uncertain if he meant the double meaning of that statement.

Ranma faded to the back of the kitchen, but she could still feel his presence. In an odd way, she felt as if she was being tested.

"What is with you?" Akane demanded.

"What do ya mean?" Ranma returned.

"Why are you watching me? I can cook perfectly fine by myself," Akane shot at him.

Ranma folded his arms. "Why would you think that? You're still learning how to cook."

Akane scowled at him. Words dying on her lips. She tried to come up with a retort, but couldn't think of anything. 'Because I'm a girl,' sounded stupid to herself. She let out a growl as she focused on making dinner, trying to do her best to not have Ranma interfere.

* * *

Akane held her hand over her stomach. Dinner wasn't quite sitting the way she hoped, and it didn't taste nearly as well as it should have, but both her and Ranma were able to eat it.

She sighed while watching television. It was only six thirty and doubted anyone would be home any time soon. There wasn't anything to watch, making her discomfort more evident. She tried to think of something to distract her, and her mind kept going to the marriage certificate and what it should mean.

"You okay?" Ranma asked.

"I'm fine," Akane chirped nervously.

Ranma looked at her with a lazy eye, hardly paying much attention to the television either. "Something wrong?"

Akane shifted nervously. "No... nothing is wrong."

"Don't tell me you're afraid I'm going to jump you, or something," Ranma muttered.

Akane pouted. "I'm not afraid of that."

"You certainly were before," Ranma pointed out.

"I didn't know if I could trust you then." Akane looked away, blushing slightly.

"Whatever." Ranma went back to looking at the television. After a few minutes, he turned back to her. "Is there something you want to say?"

"Huh?" Akane emitted.

"You keep opening your mouth as if you're about to say something," Ranma noted.

Akane huffed. "I was thinking that since we we're alone that maybe we should talk."

"'Bout what?" Ranma wondered.

Akane glanced away. "There's a lot of stuff we don't talk about because of others always being around. It's rare when we're left alone."

"Don't jinx it. You can count on Ucchan and Shampoo being busy at work, but that doesn't mean we're going to be left alone," Ranma commented.

"That's my point exactly. Right now we can talk freely," Akane pressed.

"'Bout what?" Ranma repeated.

"Well, you know, about us," Akane ventured hesitantly.

"What is there to say?" Ranma shrugged. "Saying nothing and nothing changes."

"Perhaps I want things to change," Akane ventured weakly.

"Do you really?" Ranma shot back with a touch of nervousness.

Akane nodded. "I mean we are married."

"WHAT?!" Ranma cried out.

"Ack!" Panic alighted Akane's face. "Ah, um... I can explain!"

Ranma scowled. "Isn't that my line?"

Akane sheepishly played with her skirt while giggling nervously. "Well, you remember the papers Dad had you sign when you got back from China?"

Ranma folded his arms and cocked his head in thought. "Not really."

"That wasn't to deal with missed school or whatever lie he told you. It was a marriage application." Akane swallowed hard. "Before that attempted ceremony, I signed it and it was filed."

"So? The ceremony failed," Ranma pointed out.

"The ceremony doesn't mean anything. Only filing the application does." Akane looked away. "Not that it actually means anything. Sure I might legally be 'Saotome Akane,' but either of us could go to City Hall and get it annulled."

Ranma clinched his teeth. "Why did you sign it? Why haven't you gotten it annulled? Why didn't you tell me before?"

"I didn't get a chance to tell you before without certain people eavesdropping," Akane retorted defensively, surprised at his anger.

Ranma's eyes drilled into the girl, but she didn't say anything more. "Well? What about the marriage? Why haven't you done anything about it?"

"I... I...," Akane tried to say firmly, but ended up squeaking out, "I don't know what to say."

Ranma leapt to his feet. "Do you know what Shampoo would do when she finds out? She's going knock your stupid head off!"

"I can defend myself, you know," Akane growled.

"Oh, really?" Ranma shot back.

Before Akane knew what was going on, she was sitting in the pond, unhurt but very wet. "Wha?"

"Shampoo is the old ghoul's great-granddaughter. If she got her head out of her ass, she'd be a better challenge to me," Ranma told her as if a master to a student. "And you are honestly not worth my concern in a straight fight. Why the hell do you think I've been sparring with you all this time when it does nothing for me? You need to be better!" He started to pace around the pond. "Kodachi won't even try a straight fight, attacking like a ninja when you aren't ready. Ucchan won't be much better, but she's more likely to attack me. Of all the idiotic shit..."

Akane didn't know how to take any of this. Anger at being thrown and having her skills belittled fought with the confusion of his seemingly angst filled rant. "Ranma..."

The pig-tailed martial artist in question was in her face. "You're not planning on annulling it, do you?"

"No," Akane replied firmly.

"Just fucking great!" Ranma cursed.

"Are you?" Akane shot at him.

"I'm going to pretend I don't know," Ranma muttered. "There's no way I can train you the way you need to be."

"Excuse me?" Akane demanded.

"You need to be better. Battle Douji better." Ranma broke a rock with his fist. "To do that you'll need to use short-cuts."

Akane glared at him. "What do you mean 'short-cuts?' There are no easy ways to learn martial arts."

"Easy takes time. To get it done fast is hard and painful," Ranma growled.

"What do you mean?" Akane demanded.

"I'm talking about the stupid methods like dumping your ass in a pit of hungry cats!" Ranma yelled at her. "No way I'm letting that happen, but there are other methods that are just as bad without the stupid fear." He let out another scream. "You're going to have to be trained by the panda!"

* * *

Akane tried to calm herself. As much as she hated to admit it, Ranma did have a point. Shampoo wasn't going to just back off because he was married. The bombed wedding was proof of that. It will come down to a fight, and as good as she was, Shampoo was better.

"Uncle Saotome?" Akane squeaked out.

"Is there something you want?" Genma wondered.

"Would you please train me?" Akane requested.

Genma let out a soft laugh. "Hasn't Ranma been training you?"

"He has, but I'm worried it's not enough." Akane looked away. "I was defenseless in Jusendo and sooner or later I'm sure I'll be in a fight with Shampoo."

Genma frowned. "It's Ranma's duty to protect you."

"He's not always going to be around, and fighting Shampoo is a challenge that I may have to fight alone." Akane gazed at her feet. "I need to get better faster, and Ranma would never approve of the methods needed to do it."

"Bah." Genma waved her off. "He just needs to push you more."

"I'm not talking about upping my training, I'm talking about the special training. Carrying around a heavy statue everywhere, getting hit by boulders, and whatever other crazy method you can think of to help me defeat Shampoo if the need arises," Akane pleaded. "It took forever to get Ranma to punch me in the dojo, do you honestly think he'll ever agree to anything more than weighted clothes?" Akane dropped her wristband that hit the ground with a solid thud.

"That isn't half as useful as it should be," Genma scoffed. He then looked at the girl carefully. "Why should I train you? What's in it for me?"

"If I fight Shampoo and lose badly, I might not be able to marry Ranma," Akane pointed out.

"So, you're willing to marry Ranma now?" Genma questioned with glee.

"Not NOW," Akane stressed. "That fight with Shampoo will likely have to happen first. Not to mention deal with Ukyou and Kodachi as well."

"None of those girls have a valid claim," Genma retorted.

"Tell that to them and see where that gets you," Akane shot back.

An image of a panda in a body cast flashed through his head. "I'll train you."

* * *

With each bounce, Akane groaned in pain. She didn't care about being unceremoniously carried on the shoulder of a panda. She was in too much pain. One day of training and already she would never look at whips, bubblegum and lava lamps the same way. They hadn't even gotten around to using the sofa Genma made her pull into the empty lot beyond him lazing on it while putting her through hell. Best not to mention any of that to Sayuri or Yuka, they'd seriously get the wrong idea.

"Oh, my! Akane!" Kasumi cried out in surprise, taking the limp girl from the panda. "Are you all right?"

"Next time I say 'I'm a martial artist, too,' slap me," Akane groaned.

"Uncle Saotome, what did you do to her?" Kasumi demanded with worry. "There's cuts and wax on her ankles and gum in her hair!"

The furry bear held up a sign, 'Don't look at me. I'm just a panda.'

"Really... don't ask. It's training," Akane moaned out.

"But, Akane..." Kasumi moved to grab a first aid kit, but Ranma was now behind her holding it out for her. A strange look clouded his face. She took the kit. "Thank you."

"You're not goin' to quit, are you?" Ranma asked.

"No," Akane vowed.

"Akane, you might get seriously hurt," Kasumi protested.

"If I don't do this, it will be worse," Akane retorted.

"How can it be worse?" Kasumi wondered.

Ranma gritted his teeth and leapt away, kicking the panda into the wall on his way.

* * *

Akane wasn't sure if she was getting better, but she was quickly losing her sense of pain. She had barely noticed accidentally putting her foot through a fish tank. The piranhas, however, were too annoying to ignore. At this rate, she felt that she could take a boulder to the face and not notice it. Perhaps she could get Ryouga to help teach her Bakusai Tenketsu.

There was one thing she had noticed, Ranma seemed to be avoiding her. She had barely seen him in the past week. Which made his sudden appearance with a smile and slap marks on his face all the more surprising.

"Where have you been?" Akane demanded.

"Annoying Shampoo," Ranma replied simply.

Akane's vision turned to red. "You've been with that bimbo?!"

Ranma shrugged. "Yeah. Thought the best way to deal with Shampoo is to get on her bad side. So, I'd sit in Nekohanten talking to the old ghoul, Mousse, other customers while making a mess. If I said something to her, it'd be in an insulting tone."

Akane blinked. "Where did you get the idea to do something like that?"

"Nabiki suggested that if I wanted to piss her off, I should treat her like I treat you." Ranma folded his arms. "Am I really that much of a jerk?"

Akane forgot all about her soar body as she began to roll on the floor laughing.

Ranma scowled as he walked away. "Don't know why Nabiki said not to try that with Ukyou, though."

* * *

Akane's practice paused as Ranma briefly leapt into the field splashed the panda with hot water and then disappeared.

"What was that about?" Genma wondered, adjusting his clothes.

Akane shrugged and then stiffened hearing demented laughter.

"Ohohohoho! Father-Saotome, Ranma-sama has expressed that to be someone worthy of him, I would need to learn his family's art. Please train me," Kodachi announced in a haughty tone.

Genma nodded and muttered to himself, "Clever boy. Akane could use a sparring partner soon." He then turned to the Tendo girl. "Take a break. I need to see where this girl is at, skill wise."

Akane wasn't sure she should thankful for this break.

"Attack me," Genma announced.

"As you wish, Teacher!" Kodachi launched herself.

Akane flinched and wanted to look away, yet she took a touch of sadistic pleasure from Kodachi's cries of pain.

Genma shook his head. "She needs a lot of work. Akane take the rest of the day to rest. We'll see if she's ready to spar with you tomorrow."

* * *

Akane had a slight smile on her face as she limped home. She paused as Sayuri waved at her and rushed straight to her.

"Geez, Akane, you're just one big walking injury," Sayuri noted with worry. "Did you piss Shampoo off?"

"Not yet," Akane replied to her friend. "Chances are I will soon so I need lots of training."

"Ah..." Sayuri glanced at all the bandages. "Want to get some ice cream?"

Akane nodded. "Sounds great to me."

Sayuri led the way to the ice cream parlor. After getting their orders and finding a table, she finally asked, "What sort of training have you done?"

"The wildest ideas Yuka has had wouldn't come close to what Uncle Saotome has done to me," Akane almost groaned out. "I'm not giving any details as it will sound horribly stupid. And if I told you what was used in the training, it would sound incredibly perverted."

Sayuri giggled nervously. "If you say so. Have you gotten any better?"

Akane shrugged. "Hard to say. I can trash Kodachi easily, but I've beaten her before. At least now I'll be able to fight even after being injured."

Sayuri pouted. "That's good... I guess." She then blushed. "Mind if I ask you a question?"

"Go ahead." Akane shrugged.

Sayuri suddenly found her ice cream very interesting. "Um... Do you know of a good love motel?"

Akane's face turned bright red. "Why would you think I know? Why are you asking?"

"Well, you did file the marriage application before the ceremony, right?" Sayuri glanced away. "And well, I have been with my boyfriend for a while now..."

"Ranma and I aren't officially married," Akane half-lied.

"You don't have to keep it a secret from me. I know that with the way your house is, the only way you can get personal time with Ranma is at a love motel. That it would be hazardous to just have your way with him at home because of the whole marriage issue and his suitors," Sayuri pointed out.

"I have never been with Ranma, let alone gone to some sleazy love motel," Akane protested.

Sayuri frowned. "Not all love motels are sleazy. My parents use them all the time."

Akane blinked. "They do?"

"Yeah." Sayuri looked away. "When I was little, I knocked on their door asking what that noise was and if they had tummy aches."

"Ack!" Akane emitted

"'Ack,' indeed." Sayuri shook her head. "You can understand why I can't ask them where to go."

Akane nodded slowly. "I don't think you should go. You're not even engaged. There's so many risks."

Sayuri grasped her friend's hands. "Akane-chan, I love my idiot boyfriend. I know when he goes to college this summer, I can write off our relationship. But I want at least one night with him all to myself. Maybe, just maybe, doing so will give him incentive to come back to me."

"Sayuri-chan..." Akane tried to think of something to say.

Sayuri took her last bite of ice cream. "I'll let you know if I find a good place to take your idiot to."

"Sayuri-chan, why the hell would I take Ranma to a love motel?" Akane grumbled in embarrassment.

"Perhaps you can explain why Ranma is acting like jerk?"

Akane spun around and saw one very irate Amazon glaring at her. "What do you mean 'act' like a jerk? He IS a jerk."

"I am getting sick of him calling me 'airhead.' I am NOT an idiot. I was speaking cute because Japanese boys were supposed to like that sort of shit," Shampoo ranted.

Akane blinked dumbly. Since when did Shampoo speak nearly perfect, barely accented Japanese?

Shampoo gaze studied her rival. "What happened to you?"

"Ten rounds with Kodachi. She got it in her head that Ranma wants a skilled martial artist as a wife," Akane explained, while trying to reign in her mixed emotions. Her anger at Shampoo because Ranma was spending time with her, her mirth from said boy calling the Amazon an 'airhead,' and her worry that Shampoo would attack her when she was sorely not ready.

Shampoo laughed. "If that crazy girl can't defeat you, she's no threat to me." She then smirked. "And if Ranma would rather stay with me than help you, I guess you aren't as much of a threat anymore." She whirled around. "I still need to train my beloved to be a proper husband."

"Good luck with that," Akane shot at her. "I certainly haven't gotten him to change."

Shampoo clenched her fist. "I'm not weak, like you. I'll make him change for me."

* * *

A sudden down pour didn't make Akane stop dodging, but Kodachi got a face full of trashcan lid.

Kodachi blinked in confusion. "Why did Father-Saotome use a substitution technique with a panda? Where did he get a panda to switch with?"

The panda held up a sign. 'Surprise bear maul!'

Kodachi quickly found herself on the defensive as the panda proved to be a highly skilled martial artist of the same school as Akane, Ranma and his father. "My, what an interesting pet you have."

'I'm no pet!' The panda's sign read before he swung it at her.

Akane watched the scene, trying to remember if anyone tried to actually explain the curse to her. Sure Kodachi had seen Ranma change, but why would she immediately assume it was magic? "Actually, the panda Is uncle Saotome. He didn't switch places with it."

"Are you as daft as my brother to believe magic is real?" Kodachi shot at her.

"I've dealt with too much magic to deny that it's all to real." Akane folded her arms. "With uncle Saotome it's an ancient Chinese curse of Jusenkyo. Fall into the spring and you turn into whatever fell into it. Hot water changes you back until the next time you're hit by cold water. In his case, he fell into spring of drowned panda."

"And what proof do you have of that?" Kodachi demanded.

"A master martial artist panda bear," Akane deadpanned.

"You have a point," Kodachi conceded. "There are other springs?"

Akane folded her arms. "Over a hundred."

"Really, what sort of cursed forms are there?" Kodachi took a calculating look.

"Duck, cat, twins, man, and girl," Akane rattled off, stressing the last one and leaving out mention of the pool made from her.

Kodachi looked over with wide eyes. "Wait, are you saying that harlot and Ranma-sama...?"

"One in the same person? Yes," Akane told her seriously. "He fell into spring of drowned girl."

"I see..." Kodachi leapt away without another word.

The panda held up a sign, 'There went your sparring partner.'

Akane wiped some of her wet hair out of her eyes. "I guess so."

The sign flipped, 'That will make things more painful for you.'

"Joy," Akane groaned.

* * *

Akane didn't know what to make of Ranma stumbling around as a girl with a bucket dented around her head.

"What happened to you?" Akane asked.

"Can you get this stupid thing off me?" Ranma pleaded.

"Should I get a can opener?" Akane wondered.

"Just pull the stupid thing off!" Ranma barked.

Akane made Ranma bend over, grabbed the edges of the bucket and started to pull. She hefted her foot to his shoulder to push off him. With a final tug and a moan of pain from Ranma, Akane fell backwards and launched the bucket into the air. Not the best thing to do in her school dress with it bellowing out. At least only Ranma was in any position to see her panties. "Did you see?"

"See what?" Ranma rubbed the sides of her face.

Akane wasn't sure to believe her, but there was something more pressing. "What was with that bucket?"

"Kodachi splashed me. She then complained about me lying or something, and about how insane Pop is," Ranma muttered. "She then shoved the bucket on my head and whacked it with her baton or something until it stuck. Told me to tell you that I'm all yours as she's 'done with me.'"

Akane stared at the red head. "Really?"

"Yep." Ranma slowly got to her feet. "That's one down."

"At least I don't have to worry about late night assassination from her," Akane agreed.

* * *

"Hey, hon," Ukyou greeted.

"Hello, Ukyou-kun," Akane returned.

"Still training?" Ukyou wondered.

"Yeah," Akane muttered.

"I don't see why," Ukyou commented. "Your father has to realize at some point you're not the one that'll marry Ranchan."

Akane gritted her teeth. "You know how stubborn people can be."

Ukyou shrugged. "Do you know where Ranchan has been? I haven't seen him outside of school for a couple weeks now."

Akane clenched her fist. "He's been hanging out at Nekohanten."

"What?!" Ukyou screeched. "Why is he with that bimbo?"

"I believe you answered your own question," Akane shot back.

"Oh, we'll see about that," Ukyou snarled.

"You go do that," Akane whispered with a smirk. It'd be a nice change of pace if someone else's place got trashed instead of her own.

* * *

The koi pond suddenly exploded into a shower of rain.

"So much for those gold fish," Akane grumbled. She then blinked. "Ranma, where's your shirt?"

Ranma opened her mouth and thought better of it. "Not going to answer that."

"Were you doing something perverted?" Akane demanded grabbing the topless girl by her pigtail before she could escape.

"There's no way for me to say that without sounding like it was," Ranma grumbled. "Only did it to piss off Ucchan and Shampoo."

"What did you do?" Akane hissed dangerously.

"Ah, proved I've got the biggest chest," Ranma squeaked. "Those two will be rather busy for a while..."

Akane promptly tried to make herself a legal widow by pounding her 'husband' into the ground with one of the pond's larger rocks. She then stomped past her eldest sister back into her house.

Kasumi shook her head. "Now THAT he had coming."

* * *

Author's Notes: Coming next: Chapter 2 - Desperate Measure

Sorry for the long delays in rewriting this. There were various issues that came up with this chapter and the other two that needed to be addressed. I am still in the process of revising the other parts, at least this one should be finished now.

Why was Ranma angry? Finding out he was now married without his approval would be a big one to start off with. Not to mention being 'Saotome Akane' puts a target on her head, and Jusendo made it all too clear to Ranma he can't protect her every minute of the day. He's perfectly justified being upset at having his choice taken away, having Akane betray him by being part of taking that choice from him, on top of being worried he can't properly protect her.


	2. Desperate Measure

**End Game**

**Chapter Two: Desperate Measure**

_By: Lord Archive_

Ranma 1/2 belongs to Rumiko Takahashi and is used without consent nor intent of profit. All rights reserved.

This is set in the manga time line. Anime only events do not apply.

* * *

Akane gazed at her marriage certificate. This had become a bit of a ritual every morning and night to remind herself why she was submitting herself to the hell that was training. She wanted this to actually mean something. Yet in her weeks of training, she barely spent any time at all with her supposed husband. Was there any real reason for spending her golden week getting functionally mauled by a panda repeatedly when it kept her away from Ranma? At least school restricted some of her training time.

"Bukweep?"

Akane glanced over at P-chan and smiled softly. "Don't worry about me. I just wish this wasn't just a piece of paper." She held it up for the pig to see. "It says I'm 'Saotome Akane,' but it actually doesn't mean anything yet."

"WEEP?!" the pig screeched.

Akane giggled. "You really don't like Ranma, do you? Well, get used to it."

The pig huffed.

"I'm going through training just to be able to defend myself when Shampoo and the others learn they've lost." Akane pouted. "Only they really haven't 'lost' yet. Ranma can protest the marriage and it'd make this paper worthless."

P-chan seemed to sneeze.

Akane didn't pay it much mind. "I don't want it to be meaningless, but what can I do? I can't let him just have his way with me here. People would know."

"EEP?!" the pig screeched.

"Maybe I should follow Sayuri's example, but a love motel sounds so sleazy," Akane muttered.

Blood spurted from the pig's nose as he fell of the desk, completely unconscious.

"P-chan?!" Akane yelled and scooped up the small mammal. "I'm sorry I didn't know you were sick."

Rushing down the stairs, Akane placed a phone call. "Hello, Akari-chan? I think I need some help. My pet piglet just sneezed blood and passed out."

* * *

Akari looked at Akane, who was holding her still-out-of-it-pet-pig, with a blank stare.

"Thank you for coming, but you didn't have to rush over here," Akane said politely.

"I would never let a pig suffer needlessly," Akari replied unemotionally. "How long have you had him as a pet?"

"Over a year, I guess. Why? Is he getting old?" Akane wondered, wishing she knew how long pigs could live.

"You really don't know, do you?" Akari questioned.

"Know what?" Akane returned quizzically. "Is there something wrong with my little P-chan?"

"What sort of things have you done with your pet?" Akari demanded.

"Ah, fed him and let him sleep in my bed...," Akane trailed off. "Have I been doing something wrong?"

"Have you changed clothes with him in the room? Told him any secrets you wouldn't tell anyone?" Akari pressed.

Akane nodded in absolute confusion

Akari reached out and plucked the pig from Akane's arms. "If you honestly don't know, then the only thing you might have done wrong is being dense."

Akane blinked.

"Excuse me, I need to take care of this dirty hog," Akari grumbled cutely.

"What was that all about?" Akane wondered.

"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!" Akari's voice bellowed from the bathing room.

Akane frowned, thinking that shout was meant for her. What had she been doing wrong?

"One night would be accident, OVER A YEAR IS NOT!" Akari shouted.

Akane had just treated the pig as a pet. Were pigs so different from cats and dogs that she had been unintentionally hurting her beloved pet?

Ryouga suddenly ran down the hallway, completely naked. "Sorry," he called out as he passed her, soon followed by his irate girlfriend.

"Katsunishiki, run that stupid cheating hog down!" Akari shouted, tears streaming down her eyes.

Akane stared. Wait did Akari think Ryoga was cheating on her? Akane vowed to clear things up. Ryouga was just a friend, nothing more. Akari wasn't taking him from her any more than she would cheat on Ranma. Especially not with Ryouga.

Akane frowned. She did have to admit Akari's boyfriend did have a nice body, and... package. If not for Ranma maybe she might've been interested. She then shook her head. The love motel was looking a lot more appealing. She really shouldn't have looked at someone's boyfriend like that.

* * *

Akane blinked as Sayuri shoved a pile of pamphlets into her hands during lunch. "What are these?"

"Information on the local love motels. I jotted down the pricing for the ones that didn't list them," Sayuri answered.

Yuka shook her head. "You put too much effort into it. Just go to one."

"I'd hardly want to accidentally pick a love garage when we have no car to have fun in the back seat of," Sayuri pointed out. "Not to mention some of the places... have themes."

"Themes?" Yuka wondered.

"Who would have sex in a 'Hello Kitty' room?" Akane questioned in disgust as she looked at one of the pamphlets.

"I honestly don't want to know," Sayuri replied.

Yuka leaned over. "Oh, I'm sure you'd have fun in that gymnasium room."

"Hardly," Akane scoffed. "I'd rather have something nice and romantic."

"Ai Himitsu is good and cheap for that, if you don't mind plastic under the sheets," Sayuri informed.

"You've already done IT?!" Yuka screeched happily. "What was it like?"

"Embarrassing, painful, pleasurable, and messy." Sayuri sighed. "I don't regret anything, but I really wish he wasn't in a rush to leave afterwards to avoid paying for another hour."

Akane pouted. "Still think you should've waited. What if you got pregnant?"

"He used a condom..." Sayuri shook her head. "Only one time. When he didn't, it felt a lot better. I'll deal with an accident if it happened. Might rope him into marriage if I am."

Akane looked away. "Still think it's a mistake."

Yuka huffed. "Keep this up and I'll get you and Ranma drunk and toss you into a room. You love him, right? You shouldn't have to wait to get that bod in bed. Enjoy having a hunk."

Sayuri nodded. "Stop the act of being a prude. We know you want him. And you have nothing to fear. It might even be a good idea for you to get pregnant. Those Amazons are a matriarch society, right? They should respect motherhood above all else."

Akane pouted. The pamphlets found their way inside her book-bag, causing her friends to smile knowingly.

* * *

Akane was frankly surprised she hadn't sprained her ankle earlier. It was a wonder she hadn't broken any bones putting up with Genma's bizarre and hellish training.

Less than ten minutes after getting hurt, Ranma had appeared demanding to know what happened. After splashing Genma and punting the panda into a wall, he disappeared for a moment to return with someone that made Akane feel rather uneasy.

"This won't be good at all," Cologne commented with amusement.

"Is it bad?" Ranma asked.

Cologne whapped him with her staff. "I'm talking about the interruption in her training. She'll hardly be a good match for Shampoo if she's hurt."

"You want me to get stronger?" Akane wondered.

"Shampoo may talk a good murder, but she's no killer." Cologne took a closer look at the ankle. "Frankly, I hope she never learns what it's like to have blood on her hands."

Akane seized up as the ancient amazon poked her tender flesh. "I think she'd make the exception with me."

"All the more reason for you to train," Cologne returned. "Though I'm not sure if she would fight as hard now for him."

"I know, he's letting her know what he's really like," Akane muttered. "A complete and total jerk."

Cologne let out a laugh. "He's exaggerating it a little, but Shampoo hasn't noticed that part of it is an act."

"Why aren't you supporting Shampoo?" Akane asked skeptically.

Cologne smiled knowingly. "I have my reasons."

Akane didn't know what to make of that.

"Stay off it for the next few days and it should be fine," Cologne advised.

Akane nodded.

Cologne turned toward the boy. "You better not let Shampoo see your concern for her, or you'll undo all the work you two have done these past few weeks."

* * *

Akane gritted her teeth as the school day ended. Her classmates were all stupid. How can a sprained ankle be the result of 'abuse.' Well, it sort of was, but it certainly wasn't caused by Ranma. Not directly at least. Then you've got the boys pestering Ranma over how good Shampoo was in bed.

"Do you really think I want to be the wife in a marriage and live in a backwater village in the middle of nowhere?" Ranma spat.

"With someone like Shampoo? Fuck yeah!" was the reply.

"Ranma," Akane growled. "We need to talk." The boys looked at her expectantly. "Alone!"

Ranma smirked as the boys took a step away from her. "Fine." He scooped her up and leapt out the window with her. "Where do you want to talk?"

The first thought cause Akane to flush. Well she was married to him... "Ai Himitsu."

Ranma looked confused yet blushed deeply. "Isn't that what we've been doing? Keeping it a secret."

Akane was sort of thankful he didn't know that she gave him a name of a love motel rather he thought she had said 'love secret.' "Ranma, Ai Himitsu is the name of a love motel."

Ranma missed his jump and crashed face first into the side of a home. He didn't seemed to notice when he looked at her with a slightly panicked look. "A sex motel?"

"Yes." Akane looked away. "I mean we are married and I've been going through all that training... I want it all to mean something. If you don't want to, we don't have to..."

"You know what happens if the others find out?" Ranma warned nervously.

"The same thing that'll happen if they learn I'm 'Saotome Akane,'" Akane reminded.

"Are you sure?" Ranma pressed.

"I am," Akane stated firmly, but then meekly added, "But if you're not ready..."

Ranma gazed deeply at her. "You know, I promised Shampoo I'd help her today." He smirked at the scowl he received. "So, where's this motel?"

"Ah, it's on Hikari, but I don't know where exactly. A friend suggested it," Akane answered.

* * *

Akane felt flushed even as she buttoned up her shirt. Now she felt married to him. That the piece of paper in her room really did have meaning now.

"You know, I'm never goin' ta understand you," Ranma groused.

Akane glanced at him. "What do you mean?"

"You keep yellin' at me about being a pervert and then you do this." Ranma shook his head.

"It's only perverted when it's in public." Akane's red face deepened. "In private we can do all the stuff your mother has suggested."

"Don't give me any details," Ranma muttered.

Akane giggled. "At least I can honestly say you've been 'manly' for me. Though I thought you'd be better, considering you turn into a girl."

Ranma blinked. "What do you mean?"

"You were a little too quick and didn't touch me where I wanted." Akane cocked her head. "But in a way I liked it better that way."

"Huh?" Ranma uttered in confusion

"This way I know I'm your first," Akane told him with a smile.

"It was that obvious, huh?" Ranma looked away, seemingly dejected.

Akane touched his cheek. "No one is good his first time. I'm sure I made mistakes, too."

Ranma nodded shyly.

Akane cast a seductive look. "And we can 'spar' like this again and again."

Ranma smiled in a goofy way. "Right."

* * *

Akane performed a kata by the koi pond while Ranma watched her intently. Part of her should be bothered by his intense and perverted eyes, but she was debating suggesting they go to the love motel. Honestly he should be annoying Shampoo, but Ranma claimed his parents were forcing him to watch after her because she had 'stupidly injured herself.' "Ah, hey."

Akane snapped out of her thoughts and was a little surprised at the sudden appearance of a bandana-clad boy.

"Hey, P-chan, what's up?" Ranma groused.

Akane frowned at Ryouga. "Ah, hi. I think Akari has the wrong idea about us."

Ryouga began to sweat. "About 'us?'"

Akane nodded. "She called you a 'cheating hog.' Have you been able to clear things up? I mean, I could talk to her, make it clear I'd never be with you like that."

Ryouga staggered back as if he had just been stabbed. He giggled nervously. "I think she understands what really went on. Nothing for you to worry about."

Akane let out a sigh of relief. "That's good." She then pouted. "Did she say anything about P-chan? What was I doing wrong with him?"

"Ah... um..." Ryouga trailed off, uncertain how to reply.

"Knew I forgot something," Nabiki announced her presence. "Akari called the other day saying something about P-chan having an allergy to people."

Ryouga's eyes brightened. "That's right, an allergy. P-chan has an allergy to people."

Akane gasped. "Oh, no what should I do for him?"

Ryouga shifted uneasily. "Send him to Akari. She knows how to take care of pigs with that sort of problem." He laughed nervously. "And... ah... don't get too close to him."

Akane pouted. "I really was dense that I never knew I was hurting P-chan. Excuse me." She ran to her with tears in her eyes.

Ranma and Ryouga promptly pulled out money and handed it to Nabiki.

"Nice doing business with you," Nabiki chirped.

* * *

Akane bit her lip as she focused on cooking. Once again Ranma floated behind her, and she wasn't about to let him interfere.

"I'm off to go on a date," Nabiki announced.

"Who is it?" Ranma wondered.

Nabiki waved a finger at him. "That information won't be free."

Akane blinked. "Are you actually serious about this date? You're not out to milk some poor guy?"

"That remains to be seen." Nabiki smirked. "I didn't know vinegar was an ingredient in miso soup."

"Ack!" cried out Ranma and Akane as both failed to note what the cook was doing.

"I noticed that you've managed to ditch Kodachi," Nabiki noted. "And Shampoo isn't nearly as good a customer as she has been, even with you here for the past week."

"Good," Ranma groused.

"You will find that Ukyou will not go away so easily. And even though I know how to deal with her, I'm not about to let my last meal ticket go," Nabiki told them evilly.

Akane frowned bitterly as she dumped the soup down the drain. "At some point Ranma will just have to tell her the truth."

Nabiki leaned in and almost taunted, "And just what is the truth?"

Akane scowled as Ranma seemingly shrugged cluelessly.

Nabiki waved her hand dismissively. "If you could get lover-boy to tell her, it'd still break her heart. I, however, know of a method that would make HER drop the issue."

"What is it?" Akane demanded.

"I don't think you could afford it. But seeing as you're working on dealing with most of your suitors, I figure I'd put out the hook and see if you can find something to make it worth losing Ukyou as a customer." Nabiki turned around. "See ya!"

* * *

"Ranchan, got dinner for ya," Ukyou called out.

"I've got delicious food for you, Airen," Shampoo echoed at the same time.

The two girls scowled at each other.

"You two are life savers!" Ranma quickly grabbed the food from them.

Akane gazed at the floor. "Thanks."

"Royally screwed up dinner, Sugar?" Ukyou wondered.

Akane flinched.

Ukyou failed to hide her smirk. "You'll figure things out eventually."

Shampoo folded her arms. "She is not the only deluded one."

"Since when did you learn how to speak Japanese?" Ukyou shot at the amazon.

"Told the airhead I found it annoying," Ranma replied directly to his childhood friend.

"I'm not an airhead!" Shampoo protested.

"If the shoe fits," Ukyou returned smugly. "You certainly liked giving everyone pet names like that."

"I learned Japanese in a matter of weeks, you still haven't in sixteen years," Shampoo belittled.

"That's an accent, fluff-for-brains," Ukyou growled.

"Too bad there is no test for intelligence. I would win," Shampoo shot at her confidently.

"Sure there is," Ranma corrected. "They made me take one after I started Furinkan."

"I will take that test and prove I am not an airhead!" Shampoo vowed.

"I'll show you who's the smartest," Ukyou pledged.

* * *

Akane really wanted to know how she had 'agreed' to the intelligence challenge. Yet here she was taking the same IQ test with Shampoo and Ukyou, and there was no way she'd let them beat her.

Focusing on her test, Akane couldn't tell how her pencil suddenly exploded in her hand. Looking up, she saw her competitors glaring at each other, destroyed pencils littered around them. Since when was this 'Anything Goes Martial Arts Test Taking?'

The proctor coughed. "There is no time limit. Interfering in each others' tests won't change the outcome." He then passed out another set of pencils to each of them.

The statement only held for a few minutes before the crack of another pencil echoed in the classroom. The battle resumed, with Shampoo and Ukyou more focused on each other. That didn't leave Akane unmolested as some attacks did come toward her. Shampoo opting to flick bits of broken pencil at hers trying to mess up her writing, while Ukyou was somehow using a throwing spatula as a yo-yo- wanking her weapon back by a string.

After a few more minutes and a few attempts to dodge the attacks, Akane's anger got the best of her. She began to fire back, she aimed for their pencils, but more often hit the yielder.

The proctor shook his head and muttered, "This is ridiculous."

* * *

A large number of Furinkan students gathered in the yard, each intent on hearing the results of the test. The three examinees in front and most anxious of all.

"This is the most unique experience I've had running this test," the proctor noted. "Never have I seen the examinees attack each other."

"Get on with it!" yelled one of the students.

"Ahem," the proctor coughed. "As for the test itself, the results highlight an inherent weakness in the test. That an answer that is wrong per the test is not technically wrong to the one taking the test. In some ways the answer is more correct, yet is still wrong."

"What do you mean?" Ukyou wondered.

"Cultural differences can shift the results. 'Where do you get milk?' may seem an innocent question, and the 'correct' answer for someone in Tokyo is 'from a store' however 'from a goat' is wrong per the test though it would be correct if the test was geared to a farming society," the proctor explained.

"And where does the store get its milk?" Shampoo growled.

"As I said, cultural differences can shift the results," the proctor affirmed. "Tendo Akane has the highest score, barely, and Shampoo the lowest. However, even some of Kuonji Ukyou's answers have a cultural influence."

"Is Akane the smartest?" demanded a student.

"With a margin of error, none of the girls are definitively smarter or less intelligent than the other. Tendo Akane is strongest with academics, but is weak in comparisons. Shampoo is strongest in problem solving, and weak in academics. Kuonji Ukyou doesn't have a primary strength nor weakness."

Akane blinked. "It's a functional tie?"

The proctor nodded. "I really have nothing more to add." He turned and left.

The mob of students turned to where Nabiki had been previously, but she was now nowhere in sight, everyone of them having lost the bet of who was the smartest suitor.

* * *

"You have screwed up."

Akane jumped and turned around. She stared in surprise at Cologne. "What do you mean?"

"Shampoo knows something is up. You had too much strength behind your attacks on her during the test," the elderly amazon intoned. "You managed to bruise her."

"So?" Akane wondered.

"Dear, she went through Bakusai Tenketsu training years ago. Your previous attacks on her never hurt her before," Cologne explained harshly. "Now suddenly you can flick a piece of cheap wood with enough force to leave a purple welt."

Akane frowned deeply. "What should I expect?"

"Shampoo will be spying on you to find out what secret you have. When she learns the truth, you will be challenged to fight," Cologne warned.

"Wonderful," Akane moaned.

Cologne leapt away, almost too fast to be seen.

"Your rest is over. Sprained ankle or not, you've got to get better fast."

Akane jumped again. This time she didn't turn. She could only nod. "Yes, Ranma."

* * *

"Naked pictures," Ranma offered.

"Of you, Miss Why-Do-I-Need-Modesty?" Nabiki joked. "I've got a fair number already. Even when you're a guy. Must say I feel sorry for Akane."

Ranma flushed deep red. "Hey! I probably wasn't... you know..."

Nabiki raised her pinky. "Some were droopy, others were definitely not."

Ranma growled. "Me with Akane."

Nabiki blinked. "You mean you, as a girl, with Akane, naked and going at it, to sell to Kuno and half of Furinkan?"

Ranma's face looked ready to explode in a shower of blood. He gave a shallow nod.

"Desperate, aren't you?" Nabiki grinned. "And have you asked Akane if she'd be willing?"

Ranma's head shook slightly. Then his head shot toward the floor as the girl in question pulled down sharply on his pig tail. "A-A-Akane?!"

His secret wife was almost as red-faced as he was. "I thought we were going to discuss that price first."

"You were busy with the test," Ranma weakly defended.

Akane moved to focus on her sister. "IF your idea works, college tuition."

Nabiki wagged her finger. "Daddy has trust funds for all of us. We get access to them at marriage or when we go to college. While a lot of money from yours would be tempting, I can milk Ukyou's delusions for years if you let her hang."

"That's awful," Akane growled.

"That's business. If you want Ukyou to drop her claim, come up with a better offer," Nabiki gloated.

* * *

"Marry me so you may escape your unwanted betrothal!" Kuno announced.

"No." Akane unleashed a combination of blows that ended with the wannabe samurai imbedded into a wall to punctuate her answer.

A dashing young man walked up to her with a quizzical expression. "You wouldn't happen to be related to Saotome Genma, would you?"

Akane blinked. "Excuse me?"

Ranma seemingly leapt out of nowhere, perched on top of a nearby fence and looked ready to pounce.

The man appraised the newcomer. "And you look as if you might be one of Tendo Soun's boys."

"Huh?" Ranma emitted in confusion

"Why are you looking for our fathers?" Akane wondered.

"Greetings, I'm Kudo Yoshikawa." the young man bowed. "I suppose you've heard of the pledge made at Kudo Inn?"

"What pledge?" Ranma growled.

The man frowned more at Akane's look of confusion. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised considering the tale my father told me. Twas over ten years ago when the great Saotome Genma and Tendo Soun arrived at my family inn to celebrate the defeat of the horrible demon that had plagued our city. Using sake we supplied, they trapped the mysterious molester of our women in a cave. In the celebration, my father drunkenly offered to have me marry one of their daughters. Tendo Soun sadly said he had three sons, but he would allow his promise to join their clans to shift to Saotome Genma's daughter. From what I understand, Saotome Genma was in drunken slumber and had not been in on the pledge."

Ranma began to laugh. "That's two for your old man."

Akane glared at him. "And counting our engagement, three. Two for your father, and Shampoo was all you."

"Ah, but I'm afraid that Tendo Soun's agreement must take precedence, Saotome-san." Kudo held up a pieced of paper seemingly written in brown ink. "The pact was drawn up in blood."

"Problem with that," Ranma chirped evilly. "I'm Saotome Ranma, and she is one of the three Tendo daughters. Her old man lied from word one."

Akane's eyes scrunched as she tried to read the chicken-scratched writing. "There's a curse written here."

"Sadly, yes. Ill will befall your clans if I do not marry the daughter of Saotome." Kudo frowned at the boy. "You don't have a younger sister, do you?"

Ranma grimaced. "No."

Akane cocked her head. "What about a Tendo daughter?"

"Tis not what is written." Kudo shook his head. "An oni is cursed upon my clan. His power is far reaching, and it is upon his name this was written."

"What?!" Ranma grabbed the pledge and read it over. "If this is the cause of my curse..."

Akane folded her arms. "Daddy would be deserving of the beating."

"Curse?" Kudo questioned. "It would be strange that the curse of ill family fortune to activate before we were of marrying age."

"How do we break this pledge?" Ranma demanded.

"The terrible oni would need to release the pledge. You may as well save up for a sex change operation, as that would never happen," Kudo told him morbidly.

"Tell me how to find the oni. I'll make him break this pact," Ranma growled dangerously.

Kudo shook his head. "I could tell you, but facing the oni would be suicide."

"He killed a kami to save my life, I doubt an oni will be much trouble," Akane deadpanned.

Ranma flinched a little at the word 'killed' yet his eyes still went through the paper he held.

* * *

"What offering have you brought me?" cackled the shadowed figure from deep within a cave.

Kudo bowed sharply. "Sorry, oh great master, I bring the one who was supposed to be my intended, but alas the pledge cannot be fulfilled."

Ranma stepped forward. "You're going to break the pledge Tendo Soun made with his father. I ain't marrying no guy."

"Oh?" A small wave of water shot out from the shadow, dousing Ranma before he could dodge. "You look girl enough for me."

Kudo's eyes bulged out. "Oh, blessed demon, you have presented me a great boon."

Ranma slugged the guy in the head, knocking Kudo out cold. She then took a fighting stance. "All right, ya old freak. Shoulda guessed you were behind this."

The shadowed figured moved forward to reveal the diminutive form of Happousai. "His family are simple fools who supplied me with food even before my 'beloved' students trapped me. Fortunately there was an opening just wide enough for them to give me offerings of food and sake."

Happousai went over to the comatose boy and grabbed the pledge. "Let's make a deal, you keep quiet and go home and I'll destroy this pact. It doesn't do me any good to lose a place to freeload off of."

"I've been wondered where you ran off to," Ranma growled.

"Wasn't healthy to be around after the ceremony exploded." Happousai shrugged. "So, how's Akane-chan in bed." He immediately dodged Ranma's attack. "Not so good yet, eh?" the lech cackled. "Young love doesn't mind inexperience.

"So, Ranma-my-girl, do you leave now or shall we fight and we both go to your home?" Happousai questioned with demented glee.

"You'll do whatever you want anyways." Ranma turned around and left in a huff.

Happousai burned the paper away.

* * *

"Any souvenirs?" Nabiki asked as Ranma returned home.

"Unless the old freak dragged your underwear to the middle of nowhere, he had nothing," Ranma shot back.

Nabiki cracked a smile. "So the great and terrible oni was Happousai?"

Ranma nodded. "He's been duping the Kudo Inn for food and sake for decades."

"What a surprise," Nabiki deadpanned. "Any idea on what you could pay me for the information?"

Ranma glared at her.

"If you could convince the wife to do a few porn videos with you, it might be worth it," Nabiki offered.

"Whatever," Ranma growled before stomping off. Only to find Akane and Kasumi in the hallway.

Akane folded her arms, her face a deep red. "Not a chance in hell."

"Even if it would give Ukyou more reason to stop going after your dear husband," Nabiki teased.

"Nabiki," Akane hissed.

"What is this about?" Kasumi wondered.

"I know how to get Ukyou's claim to go away, but they have yet to offer me a price I can't refuse," Nabiki informed smugly.

Kasumi put a finger to her cheek in thought.

"You're a bitch, you know that?" Akane cursed.

"To the core," Nabiki retorted.

* * *

Genma smiled as he watched Akane drive her fist through the side of a wall as if it wasn't there. "I still find it funny how you are more my heir in martial arts, while Ranma follows more after Soun's style."

Akane blinked. "What do you mean by that, uncle?"

"We both fight as Earth, strong and unmovable. We don't let others push us around, and strike with the force of a mountain," Genma related. "Ranma and Soun fight more like the wind. Impossible to pin down, always moving, and wearing down opposition with speed and time."

Akane grimaced, this was the second time she was being compared to Genma as if she was his daughter. At least it was clear she was her mother's daughter, and Ranma definitely got his mother's looks as well. The idea that she really was Genma's daughter had led to an odd nightmare.

"There is one thing you certainly inherited from your father," Genma noted.

Akane's face brightened a little. "Really?"

Genma nodded sourly. "Lack of control."

Akane growled dangerously.

Genma sighed. "It's too bad that Hibiki boy isn't around. We could use his help teaching you a few techniques."

"Sorry, he's busy with his girlfriend," Akane informed.

Genma chuckled. "Bakusai Tenketsu would be good for you."

"You think I'm ready for that?" Akane wondered.

Genma nodded. "You have enough strength and endurance now."

Akane cracked a grin. "I was able to hear to some of what Cologne said to Ryouga during that training. Particularly about seeing the breaking point."

"Good. Then this weekend we'll go on a training trip." Genma then frowned. "Best not tell Ranma, if he knew I was going to throw boulders at you..."

Akane let out a short laugh. "He'd throw the boulders at you."

* * *

Home looked like a dream before Akane's eyes. It took her the better part of a week, but she finally completed the move. Stumbling into the foyer with the panda waddling behind her, wanting nothing more than aspirin and her bed she was greeted by a strange sight. "Why is Kudo-san hanging off you?"

Ranma immediately tried to bodily grab and throw the guy off himself, only each time Kudo slithered to another limb. "He won't let the engagement thing drop even though the 'oni' canceled the pact."

"How can I let this wonderful person go?" Kudo defended. "I get the soft touch of a woman and the firmness of a man all in one person."

Ranma looked ready to be sick.

Akane's eyes crossed. "Pervert." She then launched an attack at Kudo's face, it failed to connect.

Ranma took advantage, intercepting the guy's route of retreat. Finally with a firm grip, he pulled the guy off him. "I do NOT like guys."

The panda moved away from the open door. With a slight toss from Ranma, Kudo was primed. Ranma timed his kick with Akane's to send the young man flying off into the distance.

"Good riddance. One pervert is more than enough for me," Ranma grumbled.

"Yeah." Akane blinked. "Wait! Did you just call ME a pervert?!"

"I certainly didn't bring the water," Ranma retorted.

Akane flushed. "RANMA?!"

The boy ran away, and the girl gave chase.

Soun shook his head as the pair ran past. "They never learn."

The panda had followed behind them and held up a sign, 'Perhaps they've already learned.'

* * *

Author's Notes:

There are versions of intelligence tests that do allow for cultural bias to shift the results. The 'where does milk come from' question was actually used in an intelligence test.

Just because Akane 'brought the water' doesn't mean they made lesbian love, just that she was curious enough to try.

I base Akane's willingness to have sex on three points: One, she IS legally married and it is fully expected that she should have sex with her husband. Two, Akane is the one who jumps to thoughts regarding sex, calling others perverts because of what she was thinking, and not necessarily reflecting the supposed 'pervert's' intent. Three, during the Battle Douji arc, when Ranma tried to seduce Akane to get the Douji to leave her, Akane was initially rather willing to be seduces... the her family messed it up.

Ranma agreeing to sex was largely: He was married to her and loved her. Akane was more than willing. It's manly to have sex. Skipping out on Shampoo would upset the Amazon.

Thanks to Gary Kleppe, the FanFiction Mailing List, and everyone else who has given me comments and criticism on this series.


	3. The Final Point

**End Game**

**Chapter 3: The Final Point**

_By: Lord Archive_

Ranma 1/2 belongs to Rumiko Takahashi and is used without consent nor intent of profit. All rights reserved.

This is set in the manga time line. Anime only events do not apply.

* * *

Textbooks littered the dining room table as Ranma and Akane worked on a project together. Nodoka was in the backyard, hanging laundry on a clothesline.

"You do realize that you're both incredibly stupid," Nabiki taunted.

Ranma glared at her. "Just because we can't figure out your price?"

Nabiki wagged her finger. "Because if you thought about it, you had the answer to Ukyou the entire time."

"What do you mean?" Akane asked quizzically.

"What did Ranma gamble away to the Gambler King?" Nabiki presented.

"The dojo," Akane replied.

"Correct. OUR dojo," Nabiki stressed. "Which meant that Ranma knew of the engagement when he was little. Might not have known what it meant, but he did accept the dowry. It was likely talk of the engagement that got little Ukyou to think being about being engaged to Ranma herself."

"And what does that have to do with it, Pop still stole her dowry," Ranma pointed out.

Akane slapped herself on her forehead. "No he didn't. Ukyou gambled it off as well. Your father stole the Gambler King's yatai. Why didn't I see this before?"

Nodoka frowned as she approached them. "Regardless of proper ownership, Genma did cause damage to the Kuonji family. A debt is owed."

"And what of the debt they owe for interfering in family matters and presenting a false dowry?" Nabiki returned. "There was knowledge of an existing engagement, yet Ukyou was still whored off. Neither side entered the agreement on proper grounds."

Nodoka frowned. "Did Kuonji-san know of the engagement to a Tendo daughter?"

"Hard to say, considering the sources we have," Nabiki chided. "However, the true instigator likely did know and tried to take Ranma for herself."

Nodoka gave a shallow nod. "You do have a point. Though getting the girl to see reason may be an issue." She cocked her head. "Perhaps she should be allowed to be Ranma's mistress, in case Akane fails to produce a proper heir."

"Good luck with that." Nabiki laughed as she left the room.

Akane glared at Ranma. "No way am I allowing that!" She wasn't really surprised at Nodoka's suggestion, it would be 'manly' and many still considered having a mistress as being acceptable. She was not one of them!

"I told you before, one pervert is enough," Ranma shot back at her.

Nodoka frowned at Akane, but didn't press the issue.

"Wasn't that the necklace you gave your wife?" Genma asked as he entered the room with Soun.

The Tendo patriarch nodded. "Though I wonder why Nabiki has it. My dear wife gave it to Kasumi."

"I remember when you got it. You had missed a date with her thanks to the master," Genma growled.

"Ah, yes. She wouldn't listen to me until after I told her that I loved her," Soun recalled tearfully.

Nodoka smiled. "That certainly was her favorite necklace. If I recall correctly, that was the night Kasumi was conceived."

Soun sighed happily. "Best five-hundred yen I ever spent."

Akane was at first sickened at the idea her mother's love was apparently worth only a single coin in cheap jewelry. Then was upset to realize she hadn't even gotten that much out of her secret husband.

* * *

Akane didn't know if she wanted to laugh or commit murder. Once again Kudo had latched onto Ranma, and her secret husband looked like a dog chasing his tail in his attempts to yank the pervert off himself. As comical as it looked, their school loomed before them and the spectacle was increasingly becoming embarrassing.

Several girls were glaring death at Ranma, with one of them commenting, "He's starting to take the good looking guys now!"

"What foulness is this?!" Kuno bellowed.

Ranma turned to look at Akane. "Some help getting this fucking pervert off me?"

"What unmanly demon would latch himself to that vile cur?" Kuno questioned. "At least he has an eye for women, but thou are unworthy of my sight."

"I am more than man enough for you." Kudo slid off Ranma and smiled suavely. "You do know the greatest expression of love is between men."

Kuno pulled out his bokken. "That was between master and servant, and few servants truly experienced love rather they felt their lord's inhuman lust."

"Perhaps I should enlighten you." Kudo grinned deviously.

Several girls cheered for Kudo.

"My family knows more of the horror you suggest," Kuno growled.

Kudo pulled out two paper mache bombs. "I'll show you who is the master with what the great oni, Happousai, has taught me."

As one the gathered girls turned to Kuno. "Kill him."

The battle commenced. Kudo slithered away from Kuno's strikes, while the samurai wannabe shrugged off the attacks that struck him.

"What's going on here?" Ukyou wondered.

"Kuno found someone he hates more than Ranma," Akane replied with a touch of mirth. "Kudo likes Ranma more as a guy than as a girl."

Ukyou made a face. "Surprised Ranma hasn't killed him yet."

"He's Happousai's newest student," Akane commented. "And just as slippery."

Ukyou nodded as she watched Kudo limbo under Kuno's angry strikes. "He knows that Ranma is really a guy and likes girls, right?"

"Kudo is his master's student. If Kuno losses, he may just get some samurai love," Akane replied dryly.

Ukyou's eyes crossed.

"Don't think Kuno has anything to worry about yet," Ranma noted. "Kudo is lacking in power and isn't use to fighting. He's starting to tire out."

The girls nodded, watching as Kuno nicked his foe's shoulder, sending the young man tumbling away.

Kudo held his shoulder defensively. "You've got some skill. I see I must train more under the master."

"No amount of training will allow you to defeat me," Kuno boasted. He turned and strode into the school.

"I'll be happier when the school year is over and he's off to college," Ranma grumbled.

The girls nodded in agreement.

Akane glanced over at her friend and rival. "Nabiki mentioned something interesting that I hadn't realized."

"Oh?" Ukyou wondered.

"That you technically don't have a legitimate claim as Ranma's fiance. You had gambled off your dowry to the Gambler King and Ranma had already accepted my dowry of the dojo at that time when he gambled it off," Akane said quickly to avoid Ukyou cutting her off.

"In order for me to gamble it away, it has to be my dowry, Sugar. I would have to get married in order to pay that debt off," Ukyou pointed out. "Besides, there's no way you and Ranchan would be happy with each other, always arguing. With me, you have a means of getting out of your forced engagement."

Akane glared as Ukyou smugly walked off.

"Yeah, I'd say that tidbit was worth the five-hundred yen," Ranma groused.

* * *

Akane was amazed at the effects of Bakusai Tenketsu had on its user. After today's training, she should've been a walking bruise, yet she walked normally into her family's main room.

Nabiki giggled dementedly as she played with an impressive pile of gold, silver and gems. "Shampoo has challenged you to a fight Saturday at two."

Akane glared angrily. "You told her?! You sold me out?!"

"A girl has to make money somehow," Nabiki shot back smugly. "Besides, I didn't TELL her anything, I confirmed her suspicions. She actually doesn't know the marriage has been consummated."

Akane flushed deep red. "NABIKI?!"

"If she did know, I suspect she would've forgone the challenge and hunted you down," Nabiki added.

"And who said I'm not a virgin?" Akane asked heatedly.

"Pictures are worth a thousand words, and one with Ranma carrying you into a love motel would certainly be worth a lot of yen." Nabiki frowned. "Unfortunately the owner of that photo wants too much for it."

Akane growled angrily, wondering who else knew. But there was another pressing concern. "Am I ready to fight Shampoo?"

"Doubtful." Ranma swept through the room.

Nabiki blinked as everything before her had vanished. "Hey, what did you do Saotome?"

"If Akane gets hurt, her medical bills would have to be paid somehow," Ranma snarled. "If the worst happens, you're next to be married."

Nabiki's eyes widen. "Shampoo is no killer and there's always Kasumi."

"I wouldn't put her through the shit in my life," Ranma shot back.

"Gee, don't you feel honored," Nabiki shot at Akane. "And that's still my money."

"Belongs to the family," Ranma chided. "You'll get whatever isn't used to pay her medical bills."

"You can't do that," Nabiki hissed.

"My house, my rules," Ranma shot back smugly.

"It's Daddy's..." Nabiki's face dropped. "Oh, shit."

Ranma nodded. "Akane's dowry."

Akane shook her head in amusement at her husband putting Nabiki in her place.

* * *

Having spent the past half-hour deciding on the best outfit to wear that was both flexible enough to fight in and yet still look casual, Akane walked in Ukyou's restaurant expecting a fight. With Shampoo knowing of the legal marriage, her friend and rival deserved to know as well. And Akane expected Ukyou would not take kindly to this information. Genma was nearby as Ukyou would serve as a warm-up to fighting Shampoo in a few days.

"Hey, Sugar, what brings you here today?" Ukyou greeted warmly.

Akane shifted uneasily. "Hi, um, I think we should talk..."

"Want some pointers for Shampoo's challenge?" Ukyou offered.

"Er, well it's kind of about that challenge and why I have to fight her," Akane nervously fretted.

"Oh?" Ukyou wondered.

Akane nodded. "You do know that a wedding ceremony, by itself, doesn't mean anything legally. That to be married you must file a marriage application."

Ukyou shrugged. "It's not like Ranma would ever sign one."

"Actually..." Akane swallowed. "He did."

Ukyou scowled darkly. "He was tricked into signing it. Bribed with the water from spring of drowned man?"

Akane coughed. "That was more why I signed it. He never read what they had him sign, saying it was paperwork to deal with him going to China."

"Figures." Ukyou shook her head. "If only I thought of tricking him like that. This mess would be over already."

Akane looked confused at the girl. "You realize that I am married to Ranma."

"Yeah, but it's only a paper marriage. It doesn't mean anything," Ukyou returned.

Akane turned away and blushed. "Ah... Ranma and I have... you know..."

Ukyou's glare promised death. "Couldn't pass up the chance to ride the horse, eh?"

Akane withered under the gaze. "I wouldn't call him a 'horse' that way. He wasn't wild nor big. Kind of disappointing actually."

Ukyou let out a hollow laugh. "What do you expect from a forced marriage." She then busied herself by angrily stirring something. "You do need to have an heir to fulfill your family obligation," she spat. "Still, there's not much chance of it lasting. You'll get sick of the arguments and get divorced before long."

"I hope not," Akane muttered.

Ukyou put her hand on her rival's. "I know you wanted a marriage to last a lifetime. But if all the passion is in yelling at each other, is it really a marriage?"

Akane wasn't sure if the girl was trying to be comforting or was trying to break her wrist. "There is more passion than just the fighting. I honestly do want to make it work."

"Takes two to tango, and if Ranma doesn't work at it, what hope is there?" Ukyou growled. "If you don't mind, I've got work to attend to."

Akane nodded slowly and moved to walk out of the restaurant.

"Why'd she have to tell me right when I've got a hundred thousand yen catering order to put together," Ukyou hissed under her breath.

* * *

"Heard you went to see Ucchan," Ranma stated harshly.

Akane flinched. "She deserved to know the truth and I could've used her as a warm-up fight."

"So you thought you'd fight her in her home turf?" Ranma growled. "Shampoo isn't stupid enough to try that. She's bound to have that place rigged in case someone decided to attack her."

Akane grimaced.

"What did happen?" Ranma wondered.

"Ukyou fully expects that once I'm pregnant you'll drop me and run off with her," Akane remarked bitterly. "That it's only obligation behind our marriage. That we'll never stay together with all our fighting."

"The fighting is half the fun," Ranma remarked.

"And making up is the other half." Akane blushed.

"Pervert," Ranma playfully growled.

"Hey! Who's the pervert?" Akane yelled.

"I'd say the one who likes cock and cunt," Ranma teased.

Akane was beet red, mostly as their parents were now behind Ranma staring at her. "Take that back!"

"Then don't bring in the water!" Ranma stuck his tongue and ran away.

Akane immediately ran after him.

Nabiki stepped out from where she was hiding, pressing stop on her tape recorder. "Weirdest foreplay ever."

Soun stared in the direction the young couple had run off to. "But they're not married yet."

Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "You filed the paperwork yourself. They are legally married. Akane even has the marriage certificate in her room."

"But the ceremony?" Soun wondered.

"Meant jack shit," Nabiki chided. "Why do you think I invited everyone? It was already too late for them to do anything."

Nodoka frowned. "It only delayed in announcing they're together."

"And that comes to an end when she faces Shampoo this weekend," Genma noted morbidly.

Nabiki frowned. "What are Akane's chances?"

"Not good. Shampoo knows Akane has been training, and set the challenge to give herself time to freshen and sharpen her own skills." Genma shook his head. "At least Ranma is helping her training, even now running through the city will help her speed and flexibility."

"The master certainly made sure we got that sort of training, though more as the one being chased than being the chaser." Soun shuddered, and then once again gazed in the direction his daughter had run off to. "My baby is all grown up!"

"Yes. Yes." Nabiki turned around. "You'll be a grandpa before you know it."

"Assuming Shampoo doesn't kill her," Genma muttered.

"My baby is going to die!" Soun wailed.

Nodoka smacked her husband's arm.

* * *

"And now for the event over a year in the making: Shampoo verses Saotome Akane!" Nabiki announced. "That's right folks, _Saotome_ Akane. The explosive wedding ceremony didn't mean a thing as Ranma and Akane were already legally married. And unless you've been under a rock, the reason for this fight is self-explanatory."

Shampoo pointed at her foe. "I will not let you steal what is mine."

"Ranma was never yours to begin with," Akane shot back.

"Winner gets to keep Ranma, loser gets lovely funeral," Shampoo spoke her terms.

Akane glared. "Ranma isn't a piece of meat to be fought over. He's not going to marry you, ever."

"We'll see about that after he finds out what a real martial artist is like in bed," Shampoo gloated. "I've got more to offer."

"He doesn't want what a glass of water gives him," Akane returned smugly. "You've got nothing he wants."

"I'll show him he's got more with me than a beautiful wife instead of a flat-chested gorilla." Shampoo posed to highlight her endowments. "I'll give him more than an old, busted up dojo with no students, but an entire village of warriors eager to learn to fight. Thousands of years of martial arts lore and techniques that he can learn. He would really be the greatest fighter of all time. What can you teach him? How to change diapers and make a budget? And he'd have a wife who can cook, which you'll never be good at. My great-grandmother would teach him many great things. With you, he gets a father-in-law who is a human water faucet, one sister whose head isn't home even though she never leaves the house, and another sister who would sell her mother's ashes for a hundred yen."

Akane's angry glare drilled holes through Shampoo.

Nabiki's eye went wide.

"Not that your mother was worth much, dying before she could properly raise you." Shampoo shrugged dismissively. "Or was it that she was worthless for what she did teach you?"

"Fuck," Ranma moaned.

"Kill that bitch!" Nabiki screeched.

Akane roared in anger, and ran with fist raised, ready to strike despite Ranma's insistence that she should be reactive to the Amazon's attacks and not go full on offensive.

Shampoo smirked as she leapfrogged over her opponent, her fingers pressing down onto Akane's scalp.

Akane couldn't see, couldn't think. All there was before her was a cat to be skinned alive. Punch after punch, kick after kick only met open air. It was only when Shampoo had the audacity to fake a yawn that Akane connected with a punch, and that forced the Amazon's to hastily block the attack with her forearm.

Again Shampoo leapt over Akane, her fingers pressing down on the Japanese girl's head. Once again the amazon retreated from Akane's attacks in a straight line.

"Watch what she's doing, moron!" Ranma yelled. "She's about to pull a move on you!"

"You saw what Shampoo did," Cologne noted. She shook her head slightly. "Your wife can't think straight."

Shampoo rocketed both her hands toward Akane as if to push her back like a sumo-wrestler. Only Akane didn't just fall back a step, she rocketed away flying through a metal fence and crashing into the school.

"See? You're just a silly girl who is no match for me," Shampoo gloated. "I know of many more techniques like that. Best to come home, husband, so I can teach you."

A roar bellowed from the school.

"I warned you about using those pressure points on someone with anger management issues," Cologne chastised.

An explosion created a new hole in the school and a thunderous crash echoed as a crater formed in the school field. Akane panted angrily, her feral eyes locked on her opponent.

Shampoo was once again on the defensive, yet because of Akane's anger it was a simple matter of evading the attacks. The field, however, would seriously need to be replaced.

"You have the right to interfere," Cologne mentioned. "You just can't win the fight for Akane."

Ranma seemed to vanish and appear behind his wife. His hands blurred and Akane stumbled forward.

Shampoo scowled, yet took the opportunity to kick the side of her opponent's head. "You shouldn't interfere. You'll be happier with me."

"I seriously doubt that," Ranma snapped at her.

Shampoo turned to face her opponent only to find that Akane had already spun to her feet and launched her own kick right between the Amazon's legs. Whoever said that doesn't work on girls never knew the sudden pain of attempted rape by shoe.

Now the battle was fully joined, Akane and Shampoo traded punches and kicks. Even without resorting to special techniques, Shampoo still gave more than she received. If not for Bakusai Tenketsu, Akane would've already fallen to Shampoo. A sickening crack echoed, announcing that Akane's left arm broke blocking Shampoo's deadly kick. The Amazon did not relent and Akane didn't yield. Another blow to the chest probably cracked a few ribs.

Akane stumbled back and fell onto her back. She panted as Shampoo loomed above her.

"Last chance. Give Ranma to me," Shampoo demanded.

"Never," Akane hissed through her pain.

"Your funeral." Shampoo raised her arm to strike but her fist failed to moved forward as a wooden walking staff tapped her arm. "Great-grandmother?!"

"Land that blow and there would be a funeral... yours." Cologne pointed at Ranma who was seething in anger yet wasn't moving. "I declare this a draw, Akane may not be able to defeat you, but you won't win the prize either. Had I not restrained Ranma, he might've taken your head off when you broke her arm."

Shampoo stared at her beloved with wide, frightened eyes. She had been in Jusendo and knew very well what happened to Saffron. And now the one she loved was glaring through her with murderous intent. "Ranma..."

"Dear, you must accept that it was not meant to be. Ranma doesn't love you the way you want," Cologne told her sadly.

"But the law? If I return now..." Shampoo trailed off.

"As your teacher I can take your punishment onto myself. Your failure shall be my own." Cologne sighed dramatically. "I hereby banish myself from the village, never to return or face death."

"But great-grandmother... you would do that for me?" Shampoo couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"Yes, Dear. Now renounce your claim, else Ranma may yet unleash his ire on you," Cologne told her.

Shampoo frowned as she walked up to the still frozen Ranma. "I honestly do love you. It wasn't about the law. If you ever grow tired of that violent girl, I will welcome you." She leaned forward and kissed him soundly. She then kneed him in the balls. "You are not my husband. Good-bye, beloved." She ran away crying.

Cologne poked Ranma, releasing him from her restraining pressure points. He immediately fought the pain Shampoo had inflicted on him to move to Akane's side.

"Are you okay?" Ranma asked desperately.

"A few broken bones. I'll be fine," Akane wheezed. She turned her head. "Is it really over?"

"Shampoo's claim has been broken," Cologne assured her.

"What happens now?" Akane wondered.

"Shampoo can go home, or stay here. Mousse would follow her." Cologne smirked. "As for me, I must endure the shame of remaining here. This fight actually took longer than expected. I'm missing my favorite television show. I need to find out who is the father of Michiko's baby."

* * *

Akane wasn't pleased with the way Ranma stayed ahead of her scouting for trouble. Three cracked ribs and a broken arm didn't make her an invalid. She couldn't even 'celebrate' her 'draw' because Ranma was afraid he'd hurt her.

"What is this I hear that you have forced the beauteous Tendo Akane to forcibly marry thee and thrust your horrid name on her," Kuno bellowed.

"Everything, including the _thrusting_ was her idea," Ranma taunted.

Akane turned beet red, not missing the double meaning of her husband's statement. "Ranma?!" She swung her plaster encased arm at him.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Ranma caught the arm, gently slowly it down. "Are you trying to hurt yourself more?"

"Then don't even insinuate anything about _that_!" Akane shot at him.

"Foul cur, you are not a man for allowing her to be hurt at the hands of one of your concubines," Kuno intoned angrily.

"You try stopping her from fighting and see where that gets you," Ranma shot back.

"It was my battle to fight," Akane added.

"To save Tendo Akane from her horrid marriage, I will smite thee!" Kuno took a step forward, bokken poised to strike.

Ranma grabbed the weapon and yanked it from Kuno's hands. "Don't you dare point that near Akane." He then broke it over his upperclassman's head.

Kuno fell bonelessly to the ground.

Principal Kuno suddenly popped out of a potted plant and didn't give his son a second look. "Ah, you two have been baaaaaad students. Inappropriate behavior and damages to the school property."

"Send the bill to Nabiki, and we will work out a method of repaying it," Ranma told him seriously. "And hell would freeze over before she would do anything _inappropriate_ here."

"Ranma!" Akane cried out hitting him with her good right arm, sending him flying.

Ranma quickly leapt to his feet and rubbed where she hit him. "Geez, you really do hit like a truck now."

Ukyou strode up to him. "Just hurry up and knock her up, then you won't have to deal with her anymore."

Ranma didn't bother to give her a reply.

"Hey, handsome, you okay?" Kudo questioned as Kuno began to wake up.

The upperclassman took one look at the young man hovering over him, screamed and ran away.

Kudo pranced after him. "Come back, my little samurai stud muffin of love."

"Nihao!" Shampoo chirped. "Delivery for Gosunkugi?"

"Thought you were going home," Akane groused.

"Got a letter from home... actually from Hong Kong. Father has moved there with most of the village." Shampoo shrugged. "The younger members of the village have been moving away for years. Elders have decided it was time to move on. Village is now for sale, if you want it."

"What would I want a backwater village for?" Akane wondered.

Shampoo ignored her as she looked at her 'ex-husband.' "Staying here will be better for us. If you get tired of your wife, come to me and I'll show you what a real woman can do." She then pranced away to finish her delivery to the gloomy boy who had placed the order.

Ranma shook his head. "We're married, but nothing has really changed, has it?"

"Nope, nothing has changed," Akane commented as she watched Mousse attack Kudo thinking he was Ranma chasing after Shampoo.

* * *

Author's Notes:

This is it for the story. I wrote what I wanted to for it. Yes, I resolved a few points of Ranma 1/2, namely Kodachi, who had zero chance of winning Ranma, and Ryouga, who was already being written as a non-issue toward the end of the manga. Yes, I also left a few things unresolved, namely Ukyou as she wasn't going to quietly walk away. Ukyou not accepting the situation was actually part of the point. All to often with stories dealing with 'Ranma and Akane getting married,' all the relationship issues are dealt with and everyone lives 'happily ever after.' That realistically wasn't going to happen and was likely why Rumiko Takahashi ended the series with a failed wedding, because there was no way to resolve all the issues reasonably. As such, following the issues of the manga, I didn't resolve everything here either and had no plans to do so. Just because Ranma and Akane are fully married, it doesn't mean their problems magically go away.

As for Akane getting smacked down by Shampoo despite being seriously trained, let's be realistic. At the start of Ranma 1/2 Akane's martial arts abilities were within the realms of human ability. No special moves, no ultimate chi attacks, nothing that a real person couldn't learn. At the same time, Shampoo was already able to punch holes through walls and was the best fighter of her generation in a village filled ancient martial arts practices and special moves. The only way Akane could ever hope to be Shampoo's equal would either require magical assistance, like the Battle Douji, or for Shampoo to be unable to train for a significant period of time to allow Akane to close the gap between them.


End file.
